Things said by parents on pool deck…

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I think this would be a fun exercise for comedic entertainment value and perhaps a few lessons for maybe a few who need to hear it.

With respect to not singling out any particular club or individual obviously, whether you’ve been in Water Polo for one year or 10+ years, what are some memorable quotes and things you have heard on the pool deck said just from this year alone and keep in mind, this is a perspective of a 16U/14U girls and 10u co-ed.

“Dominated!” In a 10u game where their kid made a routine one on goalie goal

“All day! All day! Get to work!” in a game already being won by 15 points. Not to mention “Get to work” ever. Damn. Time. Like a broken record. Yikes.

“Are you blind” to the refs

“Kill her! Kill her! Take it!” To a damn kid. Yeesh

“Ball don’t lie honey” taunting the goalie of an opposing team

“Pass to ______. She’s open” 100x a game.

“How did that feel to get scored by a 10 year old” in play-in game where their kids were playing up.

I personally am not offended by these parents, but I love the entertainment value of all of these toxic AF people who have several in their lives that they have to trash talk

What are your favorites?

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SWIM! has got to be my favorite

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“Don’t let them breathe” when the team is pressing and an all time banger for me is “GOALIE OUT”

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Not this year and not from a patent, but how about “Picture them in body bags” from the head age group coach of a reputable club addressing their team before an important game against a top rival :slight_smile:

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“They’re impeding the drive”. I kind of hate this one. I hear it from the same parent all the time. Or, shouting “their hands are under water”:megaphone:

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“Eye gouging”

“Check that guys ID”

“weeeeeeaaaaakkkkkkk”

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The ever so specific “Pass the ball!”

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That’s a knowledgeable parent who probably earned an exc by yelling it at the right time! (And no it wasn’t me.) (This year.)

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“SHOT CLOCK!”. (as in shot clock is wrong)

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Ball under has to be #1.

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“RESET” is higher level

But also absolutely has improved a game when the desk messes up

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Atttaaaaaaccccckkkkkk

How can that not be a 5 !

…and some of the coaches say are next level as well (including to other coaches as well)

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I’m taking the liberty of adding some things said by coaches on the pool deck:

From a coach to a player: “What do you mean, you thought? This is like the army, I think and you just do it!”

From a coach to a player who stopped swimming to adjust his goggles: “Ask me. In 50 years of swimming, how many times do you think I stopped to adjust my goggles? Ask me. Never, not once.”

From a coach to a player: “Just move around really quickly. Swing your arms. At least you’ll look fast.”

From a coach to a player: “We need someone with speed in there. John, you’re in for Jack.”

From a coach to a player: “The goal is that way.”

From a coach to the team: “I’m not like Moses or Mohammed. I haven’t had a revelation.”

From a coach to a player: “You want it your way, go to Burger King.”

From a coach to a player: “John! Even my grandmother from Nebraska knows the only thing you’re going to do is pass it.”

From a coach to a player: “Why are you playing offense? We’re on defense."

From a coach to a player: “John, it’s like you’ve got an anchor in your pants.”

From a coach to the team: “You may not think this, but there is a classy way to dominate teams.”

From a coach to a player: “It’s like golf. You can’t go back to retake your put.”

From a coach to a player: “This is kind of like golf. When you want to hit the ball, you don’t stand 10-feet away from it. You stand right up there and hit it.”

From a coach to a player: “Chris, you’re so good at taking stats, maybe you shouldn’t play anymore.”

From a coach to the team: “I don’t want to mention any names, but the whole team, especially Peter, Tom, and Jeff, really screwed this up.”

From a coach to the team: “The counterattack is like driving a car. If you don’t pay attention to your lanes and lines then BOOM! There’s a car crash.”

From a coach to a referee after a bad call: “Thank you, sir, for rewarding bad water polo.”

From a coach to a player: “If your man gets his back to your chest at 2 meters, you have already lost.”

From a coach to a player: “You are to this team what a hurricane is to a beautiful beachside community.”

From a coach to a player: “You can’t food chain a ball-side drive.”

From a coach to a player: “If you splash one more time, you will be the first senior on the JV team.”

From a coach to the team: “Playing hard is a skill.”

From a coach to a player: “If you want to swim with your head down, join the swim team.”

From a coach to the team: “A good pass to a bad player is a bad pass.”

Finally, from a coach to several players he thought were disrespecting the other team during a blowout win: “Just because we’re better than they are in the pool, doesn’t mean we’re better than they are out of the pool.” A good life lesson.

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A few years ago at our last tournament before JOs we had a horrible desk that kept messing up the clock and all the parents were constantly yelling SHOT CLOCK / START THE CLOCK. I called out that WE would be the ones running the JOs desk at our pool in a few weeks and suddenly the chirping stopped.

Pro Tip: If you do have to work JOs, do it on day 1 in the morning when the majority of games are blowouts and no one cares!

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This is a personal peeve of mine. It’s very annoying to hear a parent constantly yell things in relation to getting their kids the ball. Even worse, making comments about other kids on the team. Example when their kid is in the middle, but completely guarded they will be yelling “middle, middle”, “get it to her” :roll_eyes:. Also, when they make comments about another player working their butt off to gain position or creating (especially on offense), but somehow gets in the way of their kid. The comment might be something like “damn, they are always clogging up the middle” or “get out of the way”. It’s especially more irritating when their athlete clearly has no position.

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Have you been keeping this list for years?

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Yes, for a long time now. That’s just a small sample. Because this is a family-friendly site, I shied away from the more colorful quotes. In that category, no one could top Pete Cutino. In Kirk Everist’s first year at Cal (1985), he had a particularly bad stretch in the pool. Pete, looking up to Kirk’s parents in the stands, said, “I guess that runs in the family.”

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I’m back on the board for less than 2 minutes and I’m immediately red flagged. I love it!

The most offensive thing I’ve ever heard on the pool deck is go kiddo go! I’ve never heard anything negative ever said by any parent ever in the stands. Water polo is the most gentile sport that ever existed. Yeah!

Some animals are more equal than others…

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#Wtf?! She’s getting clobbered!!!"

From a parent yelling to the ref​:joy: